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The Disconnect

from Segments: The Mixtape by Ngajuana

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Track 5

lyrics

{So I drink and I Smoke and I ask if you’re ever around} X2
[Hook]
I been a sinner, known some losers, never really been a winner,
Winter cold inside myself, I’m always told that I need help,
I used to ask, but no one answered me, eventually I quit,
I used to look for you and hope, but now it’s clear to me you split,
And if you heard me, you ignored me, so I’m warring with my faith,
But if I’m wrong, then you’ll forgive, so forgive me for playing safe,
But I ain’t putting down this glass unless it’s empty, just to fill it up,
And still I smoke and still I puff, kills pain, but it don’t kill enough,
The more I do, the more I need, the less I’m high, the more I see,
And I can’t look; cause it feels like the things I love were torn from me,
And what we are is what we are born to be,
Can’t fight my nature, not without someone stronger to corner me,
So maybe I been praying subconsciously, everyday,
Hoping you’ll inspire me to find a better day,
A better way to live my life but if you’re here, then what you waiting for?
You’re supposed to be a saviour, what you saving all the saving for?

I swear I mean no disrespect, I just feel a disconnect,
Hate to say I’m Godless, I’m just guarded, I guess,
And if I’m wrong I’ll be sorry, but not right now,
If I’m wrong I’ll be sorry, but not right now.

Cause I don’t really get it, maybe I don’t need to,
But you ain’t ever here when I need you, need you,
And I’ve been told you’re there, even when nobody sees you,
But you ain’t ever here when I need you, need you,
So I don’t really get it, maybe I don’t need to,
But lately I been feeling I don’t need you, need you,
Nope, I don’t need you, need you, I don’t need you, need you.

Uh, I get why other people do,
Wish I just believed and belief in you would see me through,
But that ain’t my experience; I’ve walked a different trail,
Had my ear ripped off, seen a buddy shot, seen a bloody lot,
Pops told me how I feel is natural, I questioned him at length,
He said that’s critical thinking, son, He gave that to you,
To use, to see what’s fact to you bemused, and smiling at my youth,
He told me ‘find your truth’ and turned me back to you, so back to you,
I’m not sure what I know now; I just know I don’t know how,
To follow something blindly, it’s too grimy in my locale,
So many people slimy on this tiny little globe now,
That if you intervened, it’d be timely for it to go down,
The logic in me says you’re just a fairy tale, comfort food,
Nothing good comes from you; I’ve long been done with you,
But something in me says to hedge my bets and just fence–sit,
Cause something blessed me with my family and my friendships.

credits

from Segments: The Mixtape, released June 22, 2012
Lyrics: N. Latella
Production by: PnT WorldWyde,
Tracked, Mixed & Mastered by: Fresh Kils
Hosted by: The Come Up Show
All Cuts by: DJ Doubledown

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Ngajuana London, Ontario

A product of London, Ontario, Ngajuana stays active in the Canadian Hip-Hop scene. Ngajuana is a proud founding member of the Canadian collective Dreamsters Union. Boasting nearly 600 songs, 6 albums (and counting), 200 shows and multiple awards won, consistency is no surprise; it's to be expected. ... more

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