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lyrics

I have been through Hell trying to find my heaven,
Watched better men die while I kept on living,
I have been knocked down as I walked this earth,
Trying to find my place, trying to get what I deserve,
-I don’t want a thing I haven’t worked for,
Even if I didn’t give my life to the work force,
I put my life to words and it burst forth,
This is my purpose; this is what my birth was for.

I used to wonder why my parents didn’t want me,
Still wonder if it haunts them like it haunts me,
I used to ask God why he ever made me,
No-one really loved me, until she had my baby,
Never thought, maybe, he’d be the one to save me,
The world that I inhabited was crazy, crazy,
Everything was upside-fucked up, yup yup,
Anything for money, ask somebody I stuck up,
I had to learn living, earned jail, spurned prison,
Burned bridges, shaky past gave me a firm vision,
Concerns distant, now my sermons serve difference,
Right down to my name giving certain slurs inference,
On the surface, I’m disturbed, but my words deter mimics,
I just work, trying to open each mind, insert image,
Put my life on a page, put my soul in a sonnet,
Put my heart on my sleeve and bet my shirt on it.

I have been through Hell trying to find my heaven,
Watched better men die while I kept on living,
I have been knocked down as I walked this earth,
Trying to find my place, trying to get what I deserve,
-I don’t want a thing I haven’t worked for,
Even if I didn’t give my life to the work force,
I put my life to words and it burst forth,
This is my purpose; this is what my birth was for.

My speech torches sheets, I speak forceful,
But so deep, to beef with me, you’d need dorsal,
Fins, attached to your spindly limbed torsos,
Many men hate, too bad they’re mere mortals,
Me, I was put here for one thing only,
No man’s slave, there’s no chance that one thing owns me,
I am programmed to go hard, fear no man, fear one God,
Fear no hand, fear no word, fear no work; work no job,
I’ve seen Hell, I wonder if I’ll ever touch heaven,
But I’m asking that question as I’m cutting up a session,
Damn, it seems that I may never learn my lesson,
Cause I learned to burn for stress instead of dealing with depression,
Place pressure on myself to be the best that I can,
I work to separate myself from the rest and advance,
Getting knocked down has only made me strengthen my stance,
I was born for this game; y’all at best are just fans.

I have been through Hell trying to find my heaven,
Watched better men die while I kept on living,
I have been knocked down as I walked this earth,
Trying to find my place, trying to get what I deserve,
I’ve come too far to stop now,
I taste it. I’m almost at the top now,
Yeah, I’ve come too far to stop now,
Greatness! That’s when I’ll start to top out.
I’ve come too far to stop now,
I taste it. I’m almost at the top now,
Yeah, I’ve come too far to stop now,
Greatness! That’s when I’ll start to top out.

credits

from Sonic Therapy: The Frustrations of Joshua Wolfe, released January 10, 2010
Written By: N. Latella
Performed By: N. Latella
Instrumental By: A. Tanton (Madhattr)

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Ngajuana London, Ontario

A product of London, Ontario, Ngajuana stays active in the Canadian Hip-Hop scene. Ngajuana is a proud founding member of the Canadian collective Dreamsters Union. Boasting nearly 600 songs, 6 albums (and counting), 200 shows and multiple awards won, consistency is no surprise; it's to be expected. ... more

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