Every day I, see someone I don’t recognize,
Nose looks familiar and the eyes look, weaponized,
How many mirrors have I looked in? Searching my own face,
For clues to my history and still I got no trace,
And still I got no place, still, spinning around,
Still got too many problems, I’m still pinning ‘em down,
That’s what’s up; I’ll be the first to tell you I fucked up,
I’m fucked up, can’t escape my life and it’s just nuts,
It just sucks, me against the world, so it’s fuck trust,
Back to my, back to the bricks, what I tuck tucked,
Please, keep the tsk tsk’s, down to a minimum,
Cause shit gets wild in this town that I’m living in,
Plus got this rage, just leaps off the page,
Just eats at my sanity and peaks as I age,
Every single time I peek at my face, I gotta think,
I dunno why this is something I gotta ink.
Whose face is this? I think I’ll never know,
Whose face it is and it’ll never show,
How much that hurts you and it hurts you,
When the person who birthed you, deserts you,
Whose face is this, I think I’ll never know,
Whose face it is and it’ll never show,
How much that hurts and I can’t let it go,
Just can’t let it go....
It’s like a piece of me is missing, more like a blank spot,
Heart on my sleeve, turned the shirt to a tank top,
Used to pray to God when my problems got too deep,
Subdued me, now I put pen to the loose-leaf,
This ain’t a diss, to the people that caught me,
Or a scathing indictment of the people that dropped me,
Just is what it is, what it is, what is it though?
Difficult, wonder who coulda predicted this result,
Salt mine to fault line, call it the great divide,
Fault might be all mines - making me ache inside,
Living at a standstill, it’s too much to take in stride,
Life said “fuck you” I’m trying not to take it dry,
So I fight back, when I write raps,
Trying to give my kid’s lives what my life lacks,
And in the process get my life back, yeah I like that,
Be the light that beat the night back.
Whose face is this? I think I’ll never know,
Whose face it is and it’ll never show,
How much that hurts you and it hurts you,
When the person who birthed you, deserts you,
Whose face is this, I think I’ll never know,
Whose face it is and it’ll never show,
How much that hurts and I can’t let it go,
Just can’t let it go....
I don’t regret it; I wouldn’t be the man that I am,
Despite our troubles, I got nothing but love for my fam,
It’s just subtle, pulling at the back of my mind,
Sometimes I stare at my reflection, just passing the time,
Thinking whose face is this and whose traits?
And you wonder this and you wait,
And no answers come and they never will,
It makes your whole soul cold, you’re forever chilled,
I used to think that it was just me, fuck me,
But that was just me, really I was lucky,
Hindsight’s 20/20, try to understand,
That the first thing I learned was that anyone could just leave,
And in their mind, do so justly,
And think it’s fine, no it’s not, trust me,
Cause now, every time I see a middle-aged,
Black woman, the sheer volume of thoughts, crushes me.
Whose face is this? I think I’ll never know,
Whose face it is and it’ll never show,
How much that hurts you and it hurts you,
When the person who birthed you, deserts you,
Whose face is this, I think I’ll never know,
Whose face it is and it’ll never show,
How much that hurts and I can’t let it go,
Just can’t let it go....
credits
from SickSongs,
released June 1, 2018
Produced By: Madhattr (A. Tanton)
Written By: Ngajuana (N. Latella)
A product of London, Ontario, Ngajuana stays active in the Canadian Hip-Hop scene. Ngajuana is a proud founding member of
the Canadian collective Dreamsters Union. Boasting nearly 600 songs, 6 albums (and counting), 200 shows and multiple awards won, consistency is no surprise; it's to be expected....more
It's a return to the days of real hip-hop with a real message. Moore and Exit Only bare their souls on every record they make and their passion for the art shines brilliantly! Ngajuana
